Deciding to separate is hard enough without guessing what to do next. This article sets out the first five steps most people in Ontario need to take in the weeks after a separation, in plain language, and explains which ones have deadlines attached.
1. Fix the date of separation
In Ontario, you are “separated” when at least one spouse decides the relationship is over and acts on that decision. You do not need a court order, a signed document or a new address. Many couples stay in the same home for months after separating because of children or money.
The date matters more than people expect. For married spouses it is the “valuation date” for dividing property under the Family Law Act, so bank balances, pensions and debts are measured on that day. It also starts the one-year clock for a divorce based on living separate and apart under the Divorce Act, and it starts the limitation periods described below. Write the date down, and keep anything that shows it: a text message, an e-mail, a lease, a bank transfer.
2. Gather your financial documents
Almost every family law step, from a separation agreement to a court application, starts with financial disclosure. Collect what you can now, while you still have access:
- your last three years of income tax returns and notices of assessment;
- recent pay stubs, or business statements if you are self-employed;
- bank, investment, RRSP, TFSA and pension statements, ideally one from around the separation date and one from the date of marriage;
- mortgage statements, property tax bills and the deed or a recent appraisal for any real estate;
- credit card, line of credit and loan statements;
- any marriage contract or cohabitation agreement you signed.
Take copies, not originals, and store them somewhere your spouse cannot reach, such as a cloud folder with a new password. Do not read or copy your spouse’s private messages or accounts; that can create problems of its own.
3. Make a short-term plan for the children
Ontario courts decide parenting questions on one test: the best interests of the child. That is the test under both the Children’s Law Reform Act and the Divorce Act, and it looks at the child’s needs, the relationship with each parent, who has been providing care, and the child’s own views as they get older. The law no longer uses the words “custody” and “access”; it speaks of decision-making responsibility (who decides major questions such as school and health care) and parenting time (when the child is with each parent).
Courts place weight on what has actually been happening since separation. If you can agree on an interim schedule, even an imperfect one, put it in writing (an e-mail is enough) and follow it. If you cannot agree, speak with a lawyer early rather than taking the children or changing the routine on your own, which can count against you later.
Child support follows the schedule. The amount is set by the Federal Child Support Guidelines tables and depends mainly on the paying parent’s income and the number of children. Our child support page explains how the tables work and when the court can depart from them.
4. Deal with the home and the money that keeps the household running
For married spouses, the family home has special status under Part II of the Family Law Act. Both spouses have an equal right to stay in it after separation, whichever name is on title, and neither can sell or mortgage it without the other’s consent or a court order. Moving out does not give up your share of its value. If there is any risk to your safety, your safety comes first: leave, and ask about an exclusive possession order afterwards.
Common-law partners are in a different position. The property-division rules in the Family Law Act apply only to married spouses, so a common-law partner’s claim to a home in the other partner’s name depends on trust and unjust enrichment principles, which are fact-specific. Our property division page sets out the difference.
In the meantime, keep paying the mortgage, rent, insurance and utilities you have been paying, and keep a record. Do not empty joint accounts or run up joint credit; courts notice, and it is usually counted against the person who did it. If one spouse has been financially dependent, interim spousal support can be agreed or ordered while the longer-term questions are worked out; see our spousal support page.
5. Choose a process, and watch the deadlines
Most separations in Ontario are settled by a separation agreement rather than a trial. An agreement can cover parenting, support and property, and it is enforceable like a court order once it is signed, witnessed and based on honest financial disclosure, with each spouse having had the chance to get independent legal advice. Mediation and collaborative family law are ways of reaching that agreement with help. Court is for the questions you cannot agree on, and even then most cases settle before trial.
Two deadlines are easy to miss:
- Equalization of property (married spouses). A claim must be started within six years of separation, or two years after a divorce, whichever comes first.
- Divorce. There is no deadline to apply, but the most common ground, one year of living separate and apart, is counted from the separation date, and an application can be filed before the year is up as long as the year has passed when the divorce is granted. See our simple divorce page.
Support claims have no fixed limitation period in the same way, but delay can reduce what a court will award for past periods, so it is better to raise the question early.
What a first meeting with a family lawyer looks like
Bring the separation date, a one-page summary of what you and your spouse own and owe, your income information, and a list of your questions. A first consultation at Law Wise is free for 15 minutes, by appointment, in every practice area. From there we can tell you which of the five steps above needs attention first in your situation, and what it is likely to cost. Our family law page describes everything we handle.
Common questions
Do I have to move out to be separated?
No. Spouses can be separated while living under the same roof, as long as at least one of them has decided the relationship is over and the couple is living separate lives. Keep evidence of the date and the change in the relationship.
Can I change the locks?
Not if you are married and the home is a matrimonial home: both spouses have an equal right to possession until a court orders otherwise or an agreement says otherwise. If you are afraid for your safety, speak with a lawyer or the police about an exclusive possession order or a restraining order.
Do we need to go to court?
Only for a divorce order itself and for anything you cannot agree on. Parenting, support and property can all be settled in a separation agreement without a court appearance, and a divorce based on a signed agreement is usually a paper process.
This article is general legal information about Ontario and federal law as of 22 October 2026. It is not legal advice, and reading it does not make you a client of Law Wise Professional Corporation. Every separation is different; speak with a lawyer about your own situation.