Many separating couples settle parenting, support and property without asking a judge to decide. Collaborative family law, mediation and negotiation are the main ways of doing that. Law Wise advises on these out-of-court options from its Mississauga office, serving the entire GTA and Ontario, and tells you plainly when court is the better route.
Resolving a family dispute without court
The federal Divorce Act calls these options family dispute resolution processes: processes outside court, including negotiation, mediation and collaborative law. Since 1 March 2021, the Act has said that the parties to a case must try to resolve their issues through such a process, to the extent that it is appropriate to do so. An out-of-court process can offer:
- terms that the two of you choose, not terms imposed by a judge
- a process that can be faster and less costly than a contested court case
- privacy, because discussions do not take place in open court
- arrangements shaped to your family, your work and your children’s routines
Collaborative family law
In collaborative family law, each spouse has their own lawyer, and both spouses and both lawyers sign a participation agreement before negotiations begin. The agreement commits everyone to:
- negotiate in good faith, usually in meetings with both spouses and both lawyers present
- give full and honest financial disclosure voluntarily
- stay out of court while the process continues
- accept that if the process ends without agreement, both lawyers must withdraw and neither can act in a later court case
The last promise is what sets the process apart. Nobody at the table benefits from a breakdown, which keeps the focus on settlement. Where a file needs it, a neutral financial specialist or family professional can be brought in to help both sides.
How the collaborative process usually runs
- First meetingYou meet your own lawyer to discuss your goals and whether the process fits your situation.
- Participation agreementBoth spouses and both lawyers sign the agreement that sets the rules.
- DisclosureIncome, property and debt information is exchanged in full.
- Settlement meetingsParenting, support and property are worked through at a series of meetings.
- Separation agreementThe result is written up, signed by both of you and witnessed, which makes it a binding domestic contract.
Family mediation
Mediation is a negotiation between the two of you with the help of a neutral mediator. The mediator does not take sides, make decisions or give legal advice. Mediation is voluntary, and it works best where:
- both of you are willing to resolve the dispute
- both of you feel safe meeting and discussing the issues
- both of you are able to hear the other’s concerns and speak up for your own needs
Mediation services connected to Ontario’s family courts are provided under contract with the Ministry of the Attorney General. On-site mediation is free on the day a matter is in court. Off-site mediation is available at any time for a fee set on a sliding scale based on income and number of dependants.
A mediator does not replace a lawyer. Each of you should get independent legal advice before and during mediation, and from a different lawyer before signing, so that what you agreed becomes a binding separation agreement.
Negotiation and arbitration
Negotiation. Many cases settle through direct negotiation between the lawyers, by letter, by telephone or at a settlement meeting, once financial disclosure has been exchanged.
Family arbitration. In arbitration, the two of you choose a neutral arbitrator who hears both sides and makes a decision, called an award. In Ontario, a family arbitration must be conducted exclusively under the law of Ontario or of another Canadian jurisdiction. An award is enforceable only if, among other conditions, the arbitration agreement is in writing and each party received independent legal advice before making it.
An agreement reached out of court still has to be made binding
Whatever process you use, the result binds you only once it is recorded in a domestic contract that is in writing, signed by both of you and witnessed. This comes from section 55(1) of the Family Law Act, RSO 1990, c F.3, as it read on 10 October 2026.
When court is the better route
Out-of-court processes depend on honest disclosure, good faith and safety. Court may be the right choice where there has been family violence or intimidation, where a spouse is hiding income or property, or where an order is needed urgently, for example because a child has not been returned or money is being moved. We ask about these things at the first meeting, before recommending any process. Our page on court litigation and court orders explains the court route.
How Law Wise helps
- explaining each option and which one suits your circumstances
- setting out your legal rights before you negotiate, so that you know what a fair result looks like
- preparing you for mediation and advising you between sessions
- negotiating with the other side or their lawyer
- reviewing terms reached in mediation before you sign
- drafting the separation agreement and giving independent legal advice
Your file is handled by a Law Wise lawyer licensed by the Law Society of Ontario. Service is available in English, Urdu, Punjabi and Hindi, and, if you retain the firm, fees are explained and confirmed in writing before work starts.
Common questions about collaborative family law and mediation
Is mediation mandatory in Ontario family cases?
No. Mediation is voluntary. The Divorce Act does expect spouses to try an out-of-court process where it is appropriate, and in most family court cases about parenting, support or property each party must attend an information program that covers alternatives to court.
Is an agreement reached in mediation binding?
Not by itself. It becomes binding when it is recorded in a written agreement that both of you sign in front of a witness. Each of you should have your own lawyer review it first.
Do we still need lawyers if we use a mediator?
Yes. The mediator cannot advise either of you. Legal advice before mediation tells you what you are entitled to, and advice before signing protects the agreement from being challenged later.
What happens if the collaborative process does not produce an agreement?
Both collaborative lawyers must withdraw. Each of you would then hire a different lawyer if the matter goes to court.
Can we divorce without going to court?
You can settle parenting, support and property entirely out of court. Only a court can grant the divorce itself, but once everything is agreed it is normally an uncontested divorce decided on written material. See our divorce page.
Can unmarried couples use these processes?
Yes. Negotiation, mediation and collaborative family law are open to married and unmarried couples alike.
Speak with a family lawyer about settling out of court
Your first consultation is free for 15 minutes, by appointment. Call us or send a message, and tell us what has already been discussed or agreed.
This page is general legal information for Ontario, current as of 10 October 2026. It is not legal advice and does not create a lawyer-client relationship. For advice about your situation, please speak with a lawyer.